Why might someone decide to be in spiritual direction?
People come to spiritual direction for all kinds of reasons, some as unique as the individual who has them, but these are some common ones:
- Seeking a closer connection with God
- Working through the spiritual effects of a life crisis
- Being in a process of discernment
- Wanting to explore your sense of meaning and purpose
- Making a major life decision
- Being in a process of deconstructing and reconstructing your beliefs
- Wanting to learn more about God and yourself
- Seeking to develop spiritual coping skills
- Wanting a deeper or more regular prayer life
What exactly happens in a spiritual direction session?
Like most people who do this, my approach is non-directive, which means that we talk about whatever it is that you want to talk about; you set the agenda. I see my most important job as to listen carefully, and to occasionally share some of my own thoughts and questions.
Will there be homework?
That’s entirely up to you! Some people like having readings and prayer practices to explore in between sessions. Others aren’t interested. If you want ideas about things to try, I’m happy to talk about that, but it’s not at all an expectation.
How often and for how long do you meet?
Sessions are an hour long, and most people come to spiritual direction once a month, though there are times when it might make sense to meet more often.
How much does it cost?
I charge a sliding scale fee of $40-$70 a session; I trust you to decide what in that range feels reasonable for you in your current financial situation. If that’s more than you can afford, we can talk about options; it’s important to me that spiritual direction be available to everyone, including people with limited financial resources. Also, I don’t charge for an initial introductory session.
Do I have to commit to being in direction for a certain amount of time?
No, you don’t; this is open-ended work, and we will periodically check in about how it’s going. I trust that you are the expert on your spiritual life and what you need, and I will honor your sense of when it’s time to wrap things up.
How is this different from therapy? Can I talk about mental health?
You are always welcome and encouraged to bring in anything you want to talk about in spiritual direction, including mental health issues. However, our work will focus on how these issues affect your spiritual life. Spiritual directors are not specifically trained in mental health, and if you are having significant challenges in that area, I would very much encourage you to be meeting with a therapist. That said, I think that spiritual direction can be a rich complement to therapy, as it gives you a chance to focus on the spiritual aspects of what you are dealing with. And where some forms of therapy will have you explore the relationship between you and your therapist, spiritual direction will pay more attention to the relationship between you and God.
What kinds of questions might we explore?
- What is your image of God? In what ways do you hear God?
- What obstacles are currently getting in the way of your relationship with God?
- Where are you seeing God in your life right now?
- Where do you feel God calling you?
- What is your prayer life currently like? What do you want it to be like?
- What parts of your life might you currently be leaving out of your relationship with God? How might you bring those in?
- How do you feel about God right now? What might you want to share more deeply with God?
- What do you want from God? What do you sense that God wants from you?
Is this confidential?
Yes, this work is completely confidential, with the few exceptions that also apply to therapy (if you are a danger to yourself or others, or there is abuse of a minor or dependent adult that I am legally required to report). I will not share anything that you say, or even that I am working with you. The confidentiality is only on my side, however; you are welcome to share anything you want.
Can I try out multiple spiritual directors before choosing one?
You definitely can, and it is often a good idea to do so! Spiritual direction works best when it feels like a good fit, and not every director is going to be a good fit for any individual. SDI (Spiritual Directors International) maintains a large directory of spiritual directors that you can search:
https://www.sdicompanions.org/find-a-spiritual-director-companion
Does it really work to do this on Zoom?
I will admit that I was a little skeptical at first, and before the pandemic would not have considered meeting with someone virtually! But I have found that you really can develop a solid relationship on Zoom, granted that both parties are able to show up without distractions or interruptions, and I’ve come to really value how the Zoom option has made spiritual direction more available.
Is AI involved in any way?
No. As AI shows up in more and more places, I want to be clear that I do not use AI in any way in our sessions, nor do I record them.
Are you licensed to do this?
Spiritual direction is an unusual field in that there is currently no licensing, and essentially anyone can set up shop as a spiritual director. However, most directors are certified by some sort of training program. My certification is from Loyola University Chicago, where I did an MA in Christian Spirituality with an emphasis on spiritual direction.
Do you have particular specialties or areas of expertise?
Whatever your background, if you are interested in working with me, I would be delighted to get to know you better! But there are a few groups with whom I have some particular interest and experience:
Latter-day Saints (whether former or current)
People Reconstructing Their Faith
How do I prepare for an introductory meeting?
I know it can be daunting to show up and talk to a stranger, especially if you haven’t been in spiritual direction before. But really all you need to do is come. For what it’s worth, I am told that I am pretty easy to talk to. I will probably ask you questions about your spiritual life and history and what it is you are looking for (though it’s okay if you aren’t exactly sure), and you will have a chance to ask me any questions that you have, and get a feel for how I approach this work. Some people make a decision right away about whether they want to do this, but I never want you to feel put on the spot, and I will be happy to give you time afterward to discern whether you want to continue. I genuinely enjoy hearing about people’s spiritual lives regardless of whether we end up working together, and it’s more than okay if you come and talk and then decide this isn’t for you. So bring your curiosity, but don’t bring any sense of obligation, and together we can see where that goes.